8 Stress-Inducing Habits You Need To Break
/Late this past Sunday, I found myself growing stressed.
As a newbie blogger I know the dangers of falling off my writing schedule and was worried that I wouldn’t keep my perfect record of postings which went live each of the past four Mondays. I have my topics picked in advance and have gotten into a groove of writing that helped me reach my deadline.
But life happens and with it come responsibilities that can take you away from yourself it you’re not careful. Alas, between moving my daughter back home from college for summer break, rainy weather that slowed down my errand running pace, and handling my mom’s medical emergency, my short-lived record, and my current personal best, is spoiled.
Crap.
That left me pretty tense by Monday and driven to accomplish something before midnight. I managed to at least get the outline for this post down on paper, as I decided to switch to this topic at the last minute for the very reasons mentioned herein. When better to speak about dashed expectations and the stress it brings?
I’ve always been self-directed and I think it was inevitable that I’d strike out on a solo project like this. I’m approaching it with the same idealism, excitement and passion as I did when I first entered the development field. In this career, the expectation is there for directors, managers and various leaders in the resource development field to diplomatically facilitate unwieldy situations, gingerly negotiate nuanced relationships, teach, encourage, finesse, and otherwise create the conditions under which donations, gifts or investments can happen.
There are few jobs that require more of you intuitively and creatively. In fact, this is high-stakes work so if stress is ever-present, the conditions for burnout may not be far behind. But this investment does take its toll on us, our health, personal relationships and sense of self.
I recently re-read an old article in an issue of Advancing Philanthropy on the warning signs of stress and career burnout and how to avoid it. In essence it regarded burnout as a condition of exhaustion that affects your ability to carry out your daily activities.
One characterization describes it as being caused by not having control over your workload, feeling unappreciated and a bad job fit. Some experts even identified stages of burnout: alarm (stress arousal), resistance (energy conservation) and exhaustion.
The author of “Too Hot To Handle”, Mary Ellen Collins, identified the most common causes of burnout as: 1) unrealistic expectations 2) lack of support; 3) lack of communication and 4) lack of appreciation. Not surprisingly these issues were also addressed in the UnderDeveloped report I blogged about last month.
In an article entitled, “Kick the Stress Habit”, which appeared in the March 2013 issue of Essence Magazine, author Sunny Sea Gold noted that while a certain amount of stress can be a good thing, we often bring it upon ourselves by engaging in stress-inducing activities. Among them:
Watching TV before bed—I haven’t watched TV regularly since a power surge fried mine last fall. Its demise coincided with an awareness that I needed to detox from Law and Order: Criminal Intent and use the time to focus on the myriad of things I never could seem to make time for, (one of them being going to bed earlier, which I’m still working on).
Besides who can get a good night’s sleep with images of fires, smash and grabs and gory violence on your mind?
Getting Hot Over Facebook –I limit my intake to a few minutes a day. Most of my friends are uplifting types so their posts include inspirational sayings, amazing “America’s Got Talent” video clips or heartwarming photos of their personal exploits.
I’m not the jealous type and I could care less about people’s opinions on the issues of the day so I’ve never gotten into a beef with anyone. And really, if it’s that disturbing, I do have the option to un-friend.
Lugging a Huge Handbag—Now ladies, I know you needed everything in there at one time or another, but do you really need everything in there now? I should talk—I found a nice handbag on sale at Kohl’s back in January and aside from the color, I loved the size; it was bigger than any bag I’d had before.
But four months later now weighs more than any I’d carried before. Dr. Oz did a poll of his audience once and there was a lady whose bag weight about 13 lbs! So if you’ve been blaming the ear-to-shoulder phone cradling you did during the recent phone-a-thon for your neck and back pain, it may be time to scale down to a 12-inch-er like the ladies at last week’s Kentucky Derby had to do.
Constant dieting –I don’t believe in diets, they’re too restricting. My weight’s always been pretty constant most my life but I did realize some years ago there were some things I probably should stop eating because they could eventually cause health challenges.
I believe in moderation, though, and know that to be most successful you should replace what you take away with something tasty, nutritionally balance and calorically low. Boost the effects with exercise and other lifestyle changes and I found it was the foundation for me beginning to manage my stress.
Overscheduling Yourself—this is a tough one because there are some family obligations that are difficult for me to delegate right now and I know I’m not alone. I’ve always thought, quite naively I know, that if I’m being asked to help it’s got to be because there’s no one else that can. I’ve heard it said that if you want something done, ask a busy person.
So since that person’s been me more often than not, I have gotten better at saying no. In most cases, though, I try to figure out how I can help and when, or offer other alternatives they may not have thought of. It softens the “No” and shows the person you’re genuinely interested in helping them find a solution.
Chasing The Trends—Not been a particular challenge for me. I like the classics, particularly in clothing, which usually ensures the items are well made, durable and look timeless year after year. Heck, I’m still wearing things I bought more than 15 years ago! In terms of electronics and gadgets I’ll usually be one of the last people you know with the latest anything.
I bought my first smartphone, a BlackBerry, three years ago and just got an android on the insistence of my eldest daughter who felt personally responsible for introducing me to touch screen technology. It’s been my philosophy that by the time I do finally get whatever the latest thing is, all the bugs should be worked out and it should be cheaper too. And speaking of smartphones. . .
Being Glued To Your Smartphone—Really, what did we do before these things invaded our lives? Half the time I think we just feel we have to have them nearby just to avoid conversation. I mean they do take you away to a different place with all the games, messages, audio and video screaming diversions at us.
I know you regularly encounter people (even you maybe?) walking and texting, barely missing walking into cars and cracked sidewalks. In as tranquil and environment as the public park near my home I can hardly see anybody without a phone or other mobile device in their hands or plugged into their ears. I mean, what’s the sense of being at the park to de-stress when you’re still plugged in?
Me, I rely on the sounds of the birds and frogs and whatever else is out of hibernation that season to help me keep my cadence.
Stress can be managed but left unchecked can lead to burnout. However, there are no quick fixes and sometimes you just may have to leave a job to escape it.
What I have learned over time is that self reflect on, supportive relationships and healthful living –in a word, balance, has helped me achieve perspective on most situations because in the end, you’re responsible for your own peace of mind.
I came across these three questions posed in response to determining job passion and fighting burnout:
Do you love your job?
Do you have a passion for it
Are you living the life you were meant to live?
What say you?